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August 16, 2007

Wrinkly Facebook…

Not my mum…I’m hoping that the bright viewers of the new TWL can help me with some sage advice.  I’m confident, because the idiots from the old place don’t seem to have tracked us down yet…

My mum has asked me to help her get a profile on Facebook!  A friend of hers is on, and has suggested that she joins in the fun.  Problem is, of course, that if my mum gets on Facebook she’ll want to be my friend…and I don’t want her as a Facebook friend any more than I want her to join me down the pub with my mates.  But if I decline, then all manner of fallout will occur, probably resulting in my being written out of the will…and I’m kind of relying on some sort of inheritance to finance my own old age, given I’m pissing my working years up the wall blogging.  What should I do?

Surely there’s some sort of law against it?  Or perhaps someone could very quickly establish a social network for old people that she could join…MyPiles, perhaps, or AcheBook.  Maybe it could be set up by one of the existing social networks for old women, like the Women’s Institute…or the Wive’s Fellowship.

My mum’s a member of the Wive’s Fellowship.  Have you heard of it?  Possibly not.  It’s a touch more secretive than the WI…I mean, just check out the website for the South Trent Wives Fellowship.  You need a username and password to get in.  While the WI is all Victoria sponges and garden fetes, the Wives Fellowship is a bit more serious…like the Masons for mums.  If I ever need anything, mum will, “have a word with the Wives…”

“A camel for the weekend?  Let me speak to the Wives… twenty grand in used fivers?  I’ll call Wendy at the Wives…”

ronnies_02.jpgCrikey…in all the TWL posts slating agencies and hacks, I’m more worried about writing about the Wives Fellowship than anything I’ve ever done before.  I’m expecting a couple of cauliflower-heads in floral dresses to turn up at the door any minute…like something out of a Two Ronnies sketch.  Omerta?  Ohmother more like.

Anyway.  Thoughts?

Comments

Anonymous:

Create a limited profile on your page. You can select which friends are only able to see that rather than the full horror of your page, without them being explicitly told you’ve done it. you can stop people seeing your wall, other friends, etc. Fairly customisable.

It’s what I do with PRs who track me down. if they’re hot.

Under mouse arrest:

Sends chills down your spine, doesn’t it?

To avoid the oldsters cramping one’s style, I’ve actually thought about maintaining two profiles - one “special” profile for family and one for generally mucking about.

forgetmenot:

You can also block named individuals from even being able to see you’re on Facebook. E.g. even if they were looking at a friend of a friends friend list (yikes), you wouldn’t appear.

This is useful if you don’t want to turn your security settings up too high, as I suspect is the case for most 2.0 PR type folk who are into community networking and want old friends and colleagues to be able to find them.

A useful trick if you have any known stalkers, especially at work who want to check up on your personal life, which was how I discovered it….

Kasteera:

You could try persuading her that Facebook is about to become passe and to join something like Bebo instead, then set up a vanilla profile on Bebo for yoursef and let her see that.

Prem:

Are you being a little presumptuous? My mum is on Facebook… I know because my sister told me. She friended my sister, but not me. Am I being ousted from the family inner circle or has my mother just realised that she really doesn’t need to know what “Prem is…” up to at all times?

But my mum is the least of my worries… is anyone else being stalked by people in all the North American agencies they have ever shared clients with? No I WON’T accept your friends request Bob The US PR Person. I don’t know you and you write crap reports for my client which include too many letter Zeds.

eke:

If she’s asking you to set up her profile, chances are she won’t be able to use it without you anyway.

Forgetmenot, you seem to know a lot about this “facebook” thing - if someone has already requested to be your friend, is it possible to ignore them and then appear as though you don’t exist? And if they are friends with other people who are listed as your friend will you apparently ‘dissappear’ from that persons friend list…?

(Yes, I am being stalked and have stopped all facebook activity as I’m scared).

Rambletripe:

Shouldn’t that read ‘Zees’?

:)

Melanie:

I say hold out, set one up for her when people stop using Facebook and have move on to the next thing. My mum has been trying to get me set up an account at MySpace for about 2 years and now I think it is finally ok to do so.

Blah:

Your mum may surprise you by being surprisingly averse to wanting to be your friend on Facebook. I told my mum what a fuck buddy was the other day, kind of by accident, and she blanched, changed the subject and didn’t tell me off.

Blah:

sorry…I submitted that before finishing it and saying…
…so the wrinklies don’t actually want to be your ‘friends’ and find out about these things. They are quite happy just being your mum I think.
Or do as Kasteera says.

forgetmenot:

eke - I believe it would appear to them as though you had closed your facebook account - i.e. just dropped off the map. I guess if you got sprung and were embarassed you could just say that you were testing out the security filters.

Have you tried the direct approach already though?

(Unfortunately my stalker was too thick skinned even when I rejected his friend request giving first a polite explanation, then a less polite one!)

forgetmenot:

ooh, idea…. TWL…. shall I blacklist you, and you can then tell us all if it looks like I’ve just quietly dropped off facebook or if you get a big fat “You’ve-been-rejected-cos forgetmenot-thinks-you’re-a-big-fat-wierdo” message?

theworldsleading:

Let’s do it.

Though, who are you?

forgetmenot:

well, I guess if you get the wierdo message it’ll be obvious, and if i can quietly disappear from amongst your X hundred friends then we learn something from that?

…. Although in the interests of seeing if you can search for me, see my friends etc having been rejected, I’ll drop a note into your inbox……

forgetmenot:

ooh, interesting, you disappeared from all the lists of our mutual friends (i.e. so if you were an annoying stalker, I wouldn’t have my day ruined by coming across you accidently).

And I couldn’t find you by searching either.

It was as if you had all but disappeared from facebook, confined only to a little jail cell on my privacy page.

Fiona Blamey:

It probably wouldn’t be nearly as bad as you think. I was absolutely mortified when my Dad discovered my personal blog (apparently tipped off by my Granny, which made it even worse). I had to hide the whole thing for days, and creep through the archives deleting all the swearing and references to all and any questionable activities.

It took me quite a while to come to terms with it, but now I blog quite happily without really worrying about whether my dad’s reading or not, and it’s actually brought us closer together. It just takes a bit of adjustment, really, and then it’s fine.

Anonymous:

Blah:
I told my mum what a fuck buddy was the other day, kind of by accident, and she blanched, changed the subject and didn’t tell me off.

Maybe your Mum blanched because she has already written off facebook and posted her profile on ’swinging heaven.co.uk’

eke:

Excellent - stalker blocked, friend request just dissappeared, as if by magic. I feel so much better!

Thanks everyone - group hug!

Sherrilynne:

Suck it up and be nice to your Mum. She’ll probably soon get bored with you and your friends anyway.

Blah:

Anonymous

Mum, I asked you to stay off the same blogs as me, dammit.

theworldsleading:

Yeah, saw that. In fact, I commented - but it doesn’t seem to have appeared.

Ian Green:

Interestingly, we are trying to set up a dedicated Facebook network for oldster on behalf of a client who works in the area of prostate glands (don’t ask!)
I’ve always thought Facebook was at the more mature end of the social networks but it transpires that its either full of students, slackers or 30-something middle managers.
Personally, I think it’s fantastic that your mum has dived into this area. Don’t suppose she’s interested in prostates though.

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